On Wednesday I visited my very close friend at RFM (The Manzini hospital). I could not find him when I went to his bed. A nurse came up to me and said, “Follow me”. We walked into the TB room and in the corner was my friend, low in spirit, ashamed of his condition.
I went up to him and greeted himwith a hug and a loving smile. Suddenly, he started to cry, he told me how ashamed he was that he wanted me to leave becuase he didn’t want me looking at him anymore.
This was so surprising and heartbreaking, I told him that he is still as beatutiful and close to my heart than ever before; that there is no reason to be embarassed or ashamed; that i love him as much as ever before.
After he settled down his sister walked over to us. He asked me if I could leave the room because she had to change his clothes and bedpan for him. I asked him why he didn’t ask me to help him. His response was that he didn’t want me to see the bad parts of him, but only the good.
I felt sadened a little because I love this man so much, no matter what his poor conditions look like, I will love him all the same.
Is this how we are as God’s children? When we are full of crap will we ask for His help or will we hide from His loving help. Do we ever realize how unconditional His infinate love is for us? How long will it take for us to be able to bring our whole selves (crap and all) to God, to say “here I am do with me what you want”? All God wants is to just be able to hold us, full of our tears and crap, and to just say “my precious child, I love you so much”. And that is all it is, our Friend just loving on us as much as He did when He created us.
It is a journey to grow with our Friend, our Father, and to accept the help He is offering to us.
Blessings in love,
Kevin McKinnon (Thulani)
Kevin, You are a beautiful soul with much love in your heart. I know how sensitive you are. I hope when you leave Swaziland, you will feel good about all the care and love you have shown these people. Don’t feel bad about leaving, feel good that you came. You have probably learned more in these 3 months, than you have in your entire life. I mean that in the best way possible. I”m so proud of you. I love you, Auntie Mia
Kevin,
You are doing so much there and giving just as much. We are proud of you so very proud. You will be home in a few weeks and I know that when you do leave there you are leaving a piece of your heart. However, you will be leaving much more than that there, you are leaving your love, your caring, your spirit, your friendship, and many memories for others. As many memories that you leave for others, you are taking as many of them with you. I am glad that you have experienced such a journey, and such a life learning lesson. Good job Kevin and you should be proud of yourself.
Love you – Auntie Bren